im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
