yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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