i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
