didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
