Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
