do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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