Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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