Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
