i just made my gag reflex go away.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
