i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
There's always time for handjobs
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
