i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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