They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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