she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
