Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
