i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
