Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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