I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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