Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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