Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
