Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Randomize
