HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
