Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
