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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  This is sufficient.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.

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• (619): View more from California

  we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom

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