and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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