You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
