Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
