how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
