if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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