I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
me + whiskey = a bad person
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
