Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
