hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
