There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
