So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
