Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
