There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
