The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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