Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I'm jealous of your bromance
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
