Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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