Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
