just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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