i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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