I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize