so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
