Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
