How's work?
Spinning.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
