I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
