i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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