Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
