Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
