windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
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