We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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