I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
