I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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