apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
