Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
