You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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