I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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