we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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