dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
