I'm drive I can fine osifer
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You are a genius and a whore.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
