currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize