bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
