I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
