OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I think your dad took our porno
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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