well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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