I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
this boner is exhausting
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
