Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
