Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
