i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
How does it feel to date your dad?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
