Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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