he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
should my penis look like a turkey
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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