yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
