Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
