No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
