Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
