how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
