I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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