he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
did i walk over a car last night?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
