the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
